When All My Hopes Fell…
by ladyasile
Summary: Sometimes the impossible seems to happen, even in the most difficult of times. Shonen ai. HK


A/N: Something I felt like writing for some reason. Special thanks to my beta Brokenshardsofmyheart99! And again, I apologize for any big mistakes in here. Not being able to see sucks. And this is a one-shot, though it may not seem like it. Just read between the lines and it should make sense, I hope.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

When All My Hopes Fell…

* * *

Sighing, I stepped out into the rain. It seemed that my luck was down for today since I had no umbrella with me. Though I was just leaving home, I knew that it would've been fruitless to have gone back inside and searched for one. Destitute. That was my current position at the moment. So far things had worked out, benefiting me in the smallest yet needed ways. My clothes were tattered in some places, but it didn't bother me. Though it was an inconvenience to attend a school that required a uniform when you had two presentable outfits out of five frayed ones.

The icy air whipped my face as I walked on the sidewalk. Though the weather felt rather harsh, I enjoyed it. Indulging myself in some child-like behavior, I exhaled just to watch my breath come out like fog. It was something I always used to do when I was younger, back when my mother worried about me catching a cold if I didn't bundle up as I should've. When I lifted my head to face the building in front of me, I noticed my sight had become misty.

This was a prestigious school, or so people had often told me. Everyday someone always reminded us of how fortunate we were to attend such a school. I never thought of myself fortunate to go here, to be honest. No, not at all. Fortune had run out for me a long time ago. From my peripheral vision, I noticed numerous students loitering around the school's front. Some were gossiping, others by themselves engaged in their own activities, and the rest were either setting up pranks, just sitting around, or playing the latest game. At times it was intricate to believe that these teenagers were in a school for the gifted.

As usual the bell rang as I entered the building. Several of the students rushed to the door, trampling those that got in their way. Somehow I knew they weren't eager to learn, since most of those that push their way through are in my class. The truth is that they fight over who gets to sit next to the school's most popular boy. His grades are not the top best, but they come second. All the girls and some boys tag along, right at his side, asking him for a date or something. It isn't just his looks or intellect that draws them to him. Charisma, aloofness, and that haunted look in his eyes… There's more to him than what any of us know.

Walking inside the classroom I see him sitting down with a throng of people around him, as always. And to be honest, I wish I was there too. For one day, I wish I could right next to him, even if it's just to amplify his ego or to just sit next to him without a word out of me. For a time I fought against myself about my feelings for him. However, in the end I had to admit it and submit myself to this desire that would never come true. It was a futile brawl from the initiation, after all. What I didn't fathom was the pain that rippled through my body after falling for him. He's like this crave that you can't satiate.

From the back of the classroom I can see him drawing on his notebook. With each stroke of his pencil, the doodle becomes a masterpiece. It's the truth, he has a talent for art. Though the teacher is not yet done with the lecture, he places his pencil down, yawns, and looks out the window. For some reason I feel my cheeks begin to warm up. I suppose it makes me jovial to see him unwind, even a little. Unlike everyone else, aside the teachers and staff, I know something they don't' about his life. That one thing makes me understand him further, but he doesn't know. In contrast to everyone else, he doesn't even know I exist. That statement might sound embellished, but I have corroboration. You see, I am the top student at this school, but he never once acknowledged that, or even shot a glare at me for it. Though I suppose the second doesn't count since he doesn't care much about his grades or being the best at everything.

Our school is known for being the best in academics. Yet no one here cares about that. It took me the first day of attending this school to figure that out. What matters here is popularity, and nothing more. Money and brains have no influence, though that does sound rather bizarre. It still doesn't surprise me when I'm bullied by others who wish for him to the top student. They're callous and fixated when it comes to his reputation, so much so that they bash anyone that goes against him. I think that's how I ended up being ignored and pushed around. I never went against him, but without my knowledge I committed a sin against the most popular boy in our school.

The rest of the lessons are over for thirty minutes, which means it's time for us to eat lunch. Well, that excludes me. Tuition here is high, and I've given up anything that I could to remain a student here. My mouth is salivating from the various smells of foods in the room, and I can feel my stomach ache for it as well. With some twenty minutes left for lunch, I remain in my seat and try not to look at the others eating.

And just like that the school day is over. I finished any homework we were assigned and now I'm ready to go home and rest before going to work. Work is one of the few blessings I've had so far and I'm grateful that the school has let me gotten a job too. Before gathering the many books I have with me, I stretch my arms. Feeling better, I pick them up and begin to walk to the entrance of the school to go home. Though as I walk to the set of steps, I see him again. I know my feelings for him, but when I see him this time they begin to shatter. His back is against the wall with another male's tongue down his throat.

Rather than acting like one of his followers would, I close my eyes for a fleeting moment and then begin to descend the stairs. There's a grip-like ache around my heart and stomach. It feels as if I want to retch, but not quite. Instead of giving in, I try to forget what I saw and go home.

Just as I made my resolve, my foot misses the next step. Without thinking, I discard the books in my arms and grasp the handrail next to me, avoiding falling. It works, but now I've got a mess to pick up. Part of me is thankful no one else is around, for they might have kicked my books further away from me or worse. After composing myself, I stand up and begin to walk over to the nearest book. I pick it up and move on to the next.

"Thanks."

It isn't in my nature to gasp, but I did when I heard that. Raising my head, I see him on the highest step. There's a brief smile on his face before he walks down and begins to pick up my books. My mind doesn't even register what he said to me until he has his back to me.

"May I ask for what it is you're thanking me for?" I tried to bite my tongue before I spoke some of those words, but I just couldn't. He turns, books in his hands, and then looks away from me.

"When you dropped the books, you gave me the opening I needed to reject someone who kept chasing me," he answered. Afterwards, he walks up the steps until he's in front of me. That's when I get to see his eyes, his sorrowful eyes.

I breathe in. "You're welcomed, but that happened by accident," I say in return. Though I couldn't look at him in the eyes as I said those words, I do now. Though what I noticed was not in his eyes, it was on his lips. A smirk was there.

He shakes his head. "You should go now. And," he pauses to hand me my books back, "I would be careful going down staircases now if I were you." Before he turns to leave, he nears me again. We're so close now that I don't dare look at him. He leans in and gives me a brief kiss on my lips. "Those flowers you sent my sister did brighten up her days. She's going to make it through after all." He doesn't even give me a chance to ask about how he knew about the volunteer program that I participate in, or how he knew that I chose to be his sister's aid. "Now I know what I didn't know before about you," he says.

"You do?" I try not to stutter, but I can't tell if I succeeded or not.

He looks around before leaning into me and whispering five words in my ear, five words that were familiar to me. One more kiss to my lips and he leaves.

"You made me believe too."


End file.
